


Can't Sleep

by jamie_smolbean



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: John Watson Loves Sherlock Holmes, John Watson is a Saint, Late Night Conversations, M/M, Sherlock is a Mess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-27
Updated: 2018-06-27
Packaged: 2019-05-29 15:26:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 906
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15076100
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jamie_smolbean/pseuds/jamie_smolbean
Summary: Sherlock and John can't sleep. There's some talk and confession.





	Can't Sleep

3 am. It was a cold, windy night. The sound of the wind was kind of aesthesic, still and calm, but Sherlock couldn't sleep. He got out of bed and went into the living room. God, insomnia was terrible some days. All that he needed was a bloody cigarette. Where did John put it? He was always hiding it from Sherlock. "Smoking is bad for your health", John said one day, taking the cigarette from Sherlock's mouth and putting out. Sherlock smirked and said: "since when do you care about my health, Doctor Watson?". "I've always cared about you. Since the beginning" John said, staring intensely at Sherlock's colorful eyes.  
Such a good memory. 

Now Sherlock was at the living room, with the window open, smoking a cigarette, thinking about John. The man who makes Sherlock's mind goes insane. Why? Why does he makes him feel like this? It was just... John.

John went downstairs. Something couldn't let him sleep well. Maybe watch some telly? Maybe just see if he can sleep in the sofa of Sherlock's flat? He's slept more there than in his own place. In the middle of the stairs he felt the smell of smoke. Cigarettes? Was Sherlock awake?  
He saw him leaning against the window, humming something. A song maybe? Ah. It was a song that Sherlock was composing. John didn't know which one. He stooped to appreciate the view: Sherlock was wearing his blue dressing gown. The one that John loves.

Sherlock was tired (and not liking) of not knowing his own feelings. What he had (and still has) with John is... Complicated. What if was just an illusion? What if...?

"Hi." John said, approaching slowly. 

"Hi." Sherlock answered, almost like a whisper.

"What are you doing up?"

"Can't sleep. And you?"

"Same. Some nights it's just difficult to fall asleep." he said, with a soft laughter. He got closer to Sherlock, seeing his sleepy face mixed with the smoke. "and what I said about the cigarettes?"

"Oh John, I sinned. I beg your pardon. God, it is just one cigarette, I'm not going to die because of it."

"Well, you've already 'died' . I will not let a cigarette do this."

"John Watson, I'm having a hard time trying to understand a situation that I can't explain to you. Would you let me smoke for once?" Sherlock sounded more irritating that he wanted to. He closed his eyes. One, two, three. Breathe. God, he hates when he fights with John. It's just the most horrifying thing in the world. Well, probably the second. The first was killing bees.  
"I apologise. I didn't want to be an idiot with you. It's just... Everything is complicated now, my brain doesn't work well when I am in really difficult situations. I'm sorry." Sherlock sounded awful. He couldn't look at John's face, he didn't want to see the sadness or the pain that he's caused.

Suddenly, Sherlock felt two strong arms holding him tightly by the waist and John's head resting at his back. He stopped breathing for a while, trying to understand the situation. Has John...?

"It's okay. I think I know what is happening in the brilliant brain of yours", John said, sounding almost like a whisper.

Sherlock blushed. Yes, that amazing and 'heartless' man blushed. "I... I..." he couldn't make a proper sentence. What has just happened? 

"Oh. I'm sorry. I was just..." John started to let him but Sherlock held him arms tightly, so he couldn't let go. 

"It's okay. I don't mind. It was just a little bit surprising." he said, closing his eyes, feeling the warmth of John's arms around him. That was the most intimate moment he ever had with John. Then he said, breathless: "do you forgive me?"

"Forgive you? Of course. I can't imagine what would I do if I didn't forgive you. Ah. I'm talking to much. Sorry." John said, squeezing softly Sherlock's waist.

"John." Sherlock's voice betrayed him, sounding extremely shy. 'God, look what you have done to me, John Watson' he thought.

"Yes, Sherlock?"

"Do you... Do you want to go to bed? Mm, With... Me? I know how absurd this sounds-"

"I would love to." he said, smiling.

Sherlock turned to John, looked at his blue deep eyes and for the first time he saw passion. One thing that no one have ever showed to him, only his parents. Then he closed his eyes and approached his face. His heart was pounding heavily and fast in his chest. He couldn't believe it. Was that really happening? Or it was just a dream?

John's lips met Sherlock's in a passionate, soft kiss. He imagine that moment so many times, but the reality was not compared to his imagination. He felt John's soft lips brushing against his; how John held Sherlock close, like the space between them shouldn't exist; how Sherlock's fingers were tracing John's hair; how the scent of smoke were in both of them; how in love they were with each other. 

They broke the contact to fill their lungs with the cold air, and John smiled at him, placing a little kiss in his chin, imagining how it would be to have Sherlock Holmes in the same bed, holding him close and waking up with him. They went to Sherlock's room and the door was closed, letting the cold, windy night proceed and the cigarette slowly burn in the ashtray.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you liked it! Let me know if you have any questions or comments! I would be very grateful.
> 
> (just for you to know): this is my first official work on Ao3. And I'm not a pro writer but I'm trying to improve my skills. And I'm putting all of my feelings in this and the next works. Ps: I've written this on my cellphone so if there's any problem I'll try to fix it as soon as I can. 
> 
> Thanks for reading!


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